The Day of the Trick

I have noticed a disturbing trend over the past decade or so. At first I thought it was the neighborhood I lived in because the apartment complex in Chicago and the east Cleveland suburb really weren't the best places for adults to walk around in during the daylight. Never mind going out after the sun hit the ground. There has been a distinct lack of participation during Halloween. I noticed it in Maple Heights where we were one of maybe five houses on the entire street that had candy available. I would see neighbors actively not participating. It was disheartening.

This most awesomest of all holidays over all cultures and all time. You get to dress up as what ever. You get to go around as a scary monster, super hero, sexy nurse or greek goddess. What ever you want. Then you get to go out to your neighbors and say, “Trick or Treat.” I remember in my day it really didn't mean much. It was just what you said at Halloween. You went up to the house with friends or kids you never saw before and rung the doorbell. When the door was opened it was always at least some courtesy and a piece of candy. There was that one person that gave out a toothbrush or some floss. Damn dentists. There were always a couple of houses that did not have the front light on. Having lived in a military house and area I understood that not everybody was available at night. But those houses were far and few between. I even remember the one house that had nobody their but they left the candy out on the honor system. It was the 80's and a different time.

In any case, it was in those days back in Norfolk that I was out trick or treating and I came upon this one house. The poor guy had his light on but was not prepared for Halloween. I went up to the door and started the process. It got rudely interrupted when he kindly apologized for not be ready. I am sure he had an amazing excuse that totally absolved him of the error but that did not matter to him. He explained to me that since he had no treat he would have to pick trick. Imagine my elementary age confusion and the look on my face must have been not only priceless but polymorphic.

It started to make sense as to what was going on. We younger kids (back then) only really wanted the treat and those older kids (now and then) may have tended to the trick. I was dumfounded at the time because I was not prepared for any answer. My thought was light on means candy. So in this particular moment I really did not have a trick available. On that day I got plenty of candy and the light to the front porch turned off shortly after I left that mans doorstep. I am not sure if I noticed any that year but over the years I saw a few tricks occur. Most of them were late in high school and college. They had nothing to do with not having candy but more to do with having good old dirty fun.

I can only assume that back in the day there were tricks on those houses that did not participate got something. Some good old fashion fun like shaving cream under the car door handles. How would we all like that on all saints day. I mean it could have been some good loud noises later at night. I can imagine that the neighborhood dentist would not have been so bold to give out toothpicks and Listerine. That kind of crap would have come with a good rolling of the every tree in the yard and possibly the front porch.

Back to today. Or ten years ago when the street lights seemed to be turned off. There seems to no consequence for ignoring such a wonderful holiday. The masses have forgotten that they had a choice and by not participating they had their choice made. Trick. I know there are those that say it is mean or it is wrong. Some might call it vandalism or hooliganism. There are those arseholes that will cry about how it is not funny or a game but a crime. To all of you poo poo heads out there I say. It is on like Donkey Kong. You chose trick and we who believe in the celebration of all hallows eve will be out there to help.

Here it is. Lets teach the best lesson of all from this day. Have fun. Forget all the rest. Pursue happiness and get it on. If you live in one of those neighborhoods that is mostly dark (front porches). If you see your neighbors being humbugs and thinking it is okay to be fun killers then help the kids out some more. Tell them that the dentist is immune because it is his job but then.... Give them some candy and a mini can of shaving cream. Or invest in a Sam's club package of toilet paper and unleash the kids. It is migration season for some areas of the country. Hand out some bags of bird seed for them to spread in the lawns of the trickees. Got something else. Use it. Suggest it. No flaming bags of dog stuff.

If you really want to have a good warm and fuzzy about all of this. Think of this a good social engineering. At some point businesses, the church, government or the king of gods Zeus has started to suck the fun out of life. We have fun but we are not really bringing fun into our lives and the lives around us. We have been pushed further and further toward misery. Our own misery has demanded company so why should anhybody get candy for those kids. We don't take time to ensure that others are feeling real joy. Hell it is so uncommon that not many even get to experience okay joy. Now it is time that we who are still acquainted with joy and our inner child bring it all back. Lets bring back the day of the Trick.